Tuesday, August 05, 2014

A Lazy Mum's Guide to Crafting with Kids


I have no problem with CBeebies at all. Hey, when I’m working from home or having to clean out the oven, who else will sit my son for 30 minutes/an hour while I’m busy?
Octonauts keeps him amused and teaches him about sea creatures I’ve never heard of.
Woolly and Tig is a bit annoying, but I guess the programme does teach some life lessons. Via that awful know-all blue cuddly spider.
Mr Tumble is awesome. Although I’m not quite so keen on Aunt Polly. A bit needy.
As for Mr Bloom, well if Mr Bloom’s Nursery is supposed to encourage children to LIKE vegetables, great. If you think it’s going to make them EAT veggies, think again. My ‘tiddler’ is vegetable-averse as it is. There’s literally no way he’s going to tuck into Margaret the Cabbage or Sebastien the Singing Aubergine…
But the programme I dread coming on the most is Mr (Bloody) Maker. It’s not just his annoying manner/voice, or his well stocked ‘Doodle Drawers’.
Or the fact that the ‘Minute Make’ section is a lie, for sure.
Or the ‘I Am A Shape’ song and dance, which frankly makes me stabby.
No, the biggest issue I have with Mr Maker are my son’s subsequent demands to create the pieces of art The Evil Maker has demonstrated with such ease. Have you ever tried making a dinosaur out of pasta? Me neither, because I refuse to set myself up for failure.
What’s wrong with finger painting and sticking leaves onto a piece of card?
And where do you find foam sheets and tiny clothes pegs to create a ‘washing line scene’? I’ve only just discovered where the hell to buy the googly eyes Mr Maker is so fond of. Get yourself down to Messages in Hertford. Next to the Rewards Charts you’ll find a stash of cheap craft products that would fill Mr Maker’s Doodle Drawers.
And if, like me, you’re not particularly fond of crafts (or the mess), Messages has a great range of colouring books. And the Holy Grail of lazy crafters – magic paint books. Just add water.
Take that, Mr Maker




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